I Want to Believe

My earliest memory of Santa is from when I was probably about 7 years old. I wrote my letter to Santa like Dad always made us do, probably ate one of the cookies we baked with some milk, and headed upstairs to my bed. My Grammy was in town for the holiday and decided to stay with me in my room for the night. I drifted off to sleep while visions of sugarplums danced in my head, or whatever they say. Suddenly, I was awakened by the sound of bells from outside of my window. I peeked out the window, not seeing anything but continuing to hear the bells. I creeped out of my room while my Grammy was sound asleep and I just barely peeked over the loft that overlooked our living room. I swear to this day that I saw Santa, in his red suit, white beard, black boots, and a sack over his back in my very own kitchen. My Grammy came up behind me and guided me back to bed while I relished in the belief that I had just laid my eyes on THE Santa. I couldn’t wait to tell my dad the news. 

Christmas morning, I opened my usual presents from Santa that I received every year. I regaled my dad, brother, Grammy, and Pop with the story of my special sighting. They were ecstatic for me! I believed. I carried that memory with me from then on.

In my 9th grade choir class, the topic of Santa was brought up, and as the conversation continued it began to dawn on me that everyone else thought MY Santa, that I SAW was a fictional character. I was crushed. I was 14. Teary-eyed, I confessed to my class that I still believed, and for good reason! It was humorous to everyone except me. It was hard to reconcile what I had seen with what I had now learned. I came home a bit broken and discouraged. I finally got the nerve to confront my dad to ask him, “Is Santa real?” 

He responded, “He is, if you believe He is.” 

I made the decision to believe that day, and Santa is well and alive in my world and heart. He is as real as the day I saw him. 

As I got older, I have carried that mantra with me. “He is, if you believe He is.” It is more relevant to me now than ever. 

When I wonder if God sees me, “He does, if you believe He does.” 

When I need God’s presence, but I don’t feel it, “He's there, if you believe He is.”

Amidst strife, injustice, oppression, darkness and despair, are you there, God? “He is, if you believe He is.” 

Reflect and Respond

• What does FAITH mean to you?
• What is your first memory of your favorite Christmas tradition?
• Do something kind for a child today.