The Golden Gift
It’s found in Matthew 7:12 and comes from Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount. We call it the Golden Rule: “Treat others as you would like to be treated.”
That sounds pretty good, and I teach it to my children, just as it was taught to me. But I have to admit, there have been times when The Golden Rule fell flat on its face.
Especially when talking about the theme for this year’s devotions, “Gifts.”
Let’s just say my husband and I appreciate different kinds of gifts. It took us a while to figure that out.
You see, when Alex spends money, he wants something tangible, practical, and long-lasting. Some of my better gifts for him have included a 52-quart ultra-light hard cooler, a four-slice Belgian waffle maker, and a slimline wallet.
Me, on the other hand, I like to spend money on services — like a massage or a pedicure — or consumables, like concert/sports tickets or even a venti skinny java chip Frappuccino, for instance. I like to feel pampered or treated to something special.
My loving husband doesn’t understand why he buys me nice jewelry, yet most days you can find me wearing two or three rubber band bracelets my kids made for me at summer camp. And I’m dumbfounded that taking him to a Predators or Titans game doesn’t sound fun to him.
As I’ve gotten older, I think I’ve come to understand the Golden Rule a bit more comprehensively. Not everyone wants to be treated just like I do. Everyone is not me.
All people come from their own backgrounds and experiences, and have different preferences. Yes, we all want to be treated with love and kindness, but love and kindness look different for different people.
I love bacon. (Can we just stop and agree right now how good bacon is?) Well, I guess not everyone would agree. My aunt’s husband is Muslim, and when we visit for Thanksgiving my Christian grandmother doesn’t even keep pork products in the house out of love and kindness toward him.
You see, I’ve come to realize that love and kindness are born from relationships. We must get to know one another, we must be curious and ask questions, and learn about who the other person is. Only then can we truly treat others the way they want to be treated. Or, as the Golden Rule might actually mean: Treat others as you would like to be treated, if you were them.
I recently went to a conference and one of the breakout sessions was about how to talk about the “hot topics” of our day. I honestly didn’t know what to expect going into the session. But what I walked away with was something so simple, yet with the power to be life-changing.
Heather Zempel, the pastor of discipleship from National Community Church in Washington, D.C., was co-leading the session, and I imagine there are quite a few “hot topics” at her church, which is located in the epicenter of U.S. politics. She said a few years ago, the youth group from NCC was attempting to walk through a divisive time together, and they came up with 4 Peacekeeping Principles to guide their conversations:
1) Ask Anything.
2) Listen Well.
3) Disagree Freely.
4) Love Regardless.
Imagine a world, or a church, where we are free to ask anything, as long as we listen well enough to make the other person’s argument for them. Imagine if we were free to disagree freely and openly, but made the decision to love regardless.
I think that just might be one of the greatest gifts we can give the next generation.
Prayer:
Dear God, remind me of another of Jesus’s sayings in John 13:35: “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” Fill me up with your love so that I may overflow with that kind of love to my family, friends, co-workers and to all those who find themselves within my sphere of influence. Remind me to be quick to listen and slow to speak, to seek to understand before being understood. Help me build relationships built on love and kindness, so that I may be a light in my home and community. Amen.
